I think things
has changed from the day we met , before
he used to complement me a lot , the way he like my hair , my eyes , my smile
and my hips. Now nothing of such, He
used to look at me all the time. But know things have changed. There are small
thing I noticed now. Before he liked my hair down but now he tells me to tie it
up. What’s wrong with man? Their likes
also changes or the way they look changes.
Even last night
we talked and it seems like his mind was somewhere else. It wasn’t with me. He
was in a hurry to go back to home. I don’t know why. I was sad and wanted to
talk to him that whole day we didn’t talked, we talked for a very short time
and for all that time he didn’t even look at me.
Sometimes my
thoughts run wild. I do want to spend life with him but he is full of
complication. Do I want that complication in my life? Is it worth? Sometime out
of fear not getting him or he not being solely for me. I think of marrying him,
just because I have this fear of losing him. But is it a good reason for
marrying him. I keep on thinking, I am sure I will get a guy without all those garbage’s,
and independent and who can devote all his time and mind to me.
Once I got such
a guy but wasn’t worthy to spend rest of my life with. This man have to have
two heart and two mind with him because he have a wife and a child on the way.
I don’t want to be the one to be left alone. Sometimes I wonder what am I doing with him? Is this s temporary thing? The
reason for me to be with him is to make him happy, Cos he is a good guy , very good in heart, his wife treat him
bad. She does not treat him the way she should be treating him. But now things have
changed. She is changing to be a better
wife. she kind of knows her husband talks to me. Now she is not so arrogant. She does even take care of him now. Sometime,
I wonder what role do I am playing in this relationship. May be this is it , my
role is just to let his wife know how wonderful guy he is and she should not treat
him that way , I know she is coming to her sense and she is trying very hard to
make him happy and give him life he deserves or not deserves.
I think when all
this union of family happens I will get out of the way.
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