Bitter Swyt Memory

At the age of 30plus, I am learning there is nothing called dipped or forbidden fruit. It's the first time I have faced such situation so imaging how would I feel. I didn't know how to act, talk or even behave in front of them. They looked down on me. I don't want Symphony of anyone. Am self-aware, confident person. At least I like to believe that I am. But somehow .. during this time I have looked down on my self even. I made a fool of my self and I made my self-worthless in front of you and others ... that's what I think for my self. I don't wanna be that person. Who reminds you of your past and don't wanna be the second person in any one life. I have more self-respect to my self. Just because I look like ur past or am same characters as your past, you don't get right to invite me to your life or even play games with me. Go and find your past from someone else. Don't involve me in it. This is the end of all this drama and ur chapter. I have more

I don't know how people can play with other feelings. The thing is so casually he played with mine. People told me " why are you after a guy who does not have feeling for you" wondering is it really true or not. "he said, He don't wanna lose you cos for office of his business stuffs it's easier to deal with or whatever" He told her same thing he has told me. Haven't told there is anything special going on between us. But he told me am special. Fool, that I believe that. He made people look down on me, I can feel that those people looking at me like that poor girl. He played with her feeling and she is lost. It hurts thinking that. How did I let my self-be effected by this certain person?