Bitter Swyt Memory

Even though I don't admit and it actually did hurt me a lot. The action showed your true colour, am glad that I have seen it before much of the things happening. Sometimes these people come to our life with the virus of their own and infant us. If we aren't careful we might get fully infected with that virus and it gets harder to live. I wasn't very careful at first but now I will be. I wonder why they show a freaking fake colour of them self at first. Sometimes we also let our self-believe in those colours without realising how much it's gonna affect us. The belief is everything in life. We don't think about it much, we each believe what we believe, even though truth and reality are different. We just believe in what we think is true and real. At the end when we see the true colour it's kind of late, we are infected. Once you get infected it's can not be undone. We can forget, forgive or move on but the mark will be there always. 19 JUNE 2017

Once there was this man who used to care for me a lot. At least he showed his caring for me for some days. Days went by. We didn't go for a relation. We thought of going but he couldn't find a hope  for   us being together cos of his life style. He is bound to his kids and others. Anyway, cos I wasn't also looking for a relationship we took step back stayed as friends. As a friend I used to, let him know that I was there for him if he needs me and if he needs any help I would help him. I Tried to get to know how he was doing and all now and then. But some how I started feeling that he didn't care about me. He doesn't ask me how I was doing, how my life was. He didn't bother to ask whether I had a bad day or good day or anything. As per as I know he takes care of his friend.  he says,  How he was there for his friends. And I have seen very closely when it came to new friends. A mutual friend of us, he was ready to ease a bad day that friend was having. ...

I have seen me crying over certain relationships The question is ....  do I cry cos it's over? No.. normally I cry over the guilt. I cry over thinking how foolish I was. I cry over letting my self for suffering that fate. I cry for not thinking that through. Mostly I cry over the guilt of doing that to my self. I don't get angry with that person. I get angry with my self. I should have been more careful. I should have been more prepared. I love crying for such things. Reminding how stupid I was. A mistake won't be a mistake if you don't learn from it.  A mistake has to embraced,  cried over and noted. 16 JUNE 2017

Life takes turns and meets new people sometimes we fall for them, sometimes without feeling we hang out with them, trying to hold a friendship. But then I keep on thinking what is it, we are doing. People can't keep a friendship.  They don't know their limits.  The typical mind of these people is they want just one thing from a woman. Well, you might say it's my thinking, not everyone is like that. But then is it really. They only talk happens between a group of man and woman are political talks and ghost talks. I have met people to get girl attention they start talking about goats stories. Is it a myth and fantasy stuffs more real to us woman than the real stuff. Taking about life, talking about some important stuff in the world. Talking about own thinking rather than the myths are more interesting to me. Well, I don't want to hear about you past unless I want to have a life with you. We are just meeting let me know how and what you see in this world. Let me ...

The insecurity is building  in me I hate the person I becoming in to After coming here it seems like I am a new person. As the topical people around here, I am spending too much time on man.   It does not mean I am with them. I am saying I am thinking about them. A part of me doesn't want to think about  them, A part of me wants to think about the future I have dreamed for.  12 JUNE  2017

It's a kinda creepy feeling which  I am having right now, thinking why would he ignore me or a thing. But I know he is not a phone person or some one who keeps up with his phone. But some how what I think is if  he misses me little bit or even think about me little bit he would at least look at his phone,  I keep wondering if he is so away from phone how come he contact with his son, who is his life. Is he ignoring me, or messing with me. I  keep on thinking he should not even mess with me.  I was satisfied and happy with my life. With out liking any one having a firm mind of what I want, what I should be doing to reach what I want.  Then why did he come to my life to take away my smile, now always I think I about him. Why is it. ? Why am I even letting my self to this stage? I should have been careful. This is so fucked up thing.  ---------------------------- Some how I kinda feel like knowing how ur and stuff, even though you do not tell me....

Until this day I met different type of people as dates or as friends. Things I have learned are: I get more attached to people who are in need. Who has gone through certain things in their life? Inaddition to this I get attached to people who are kinda bad. The all good boy type I don't like much. If they talked about bad things they have done I found my self-attaching to them, it's kinda interesting. I don't like people who are serious. Who takes life as some kind of hardship and being busy all the time. I find them selfish and feels like they are not living. When I meet a person who has gone through certain situation or phase in life, I like to show them an another world which is different from the world they are in. But somehow if that person is not ready to experience, it makes it difficult. But I do pray for them to see the world differently. How disturbed is a person if he finds it difficult to get out from home and enjoying a beach wave view. Well, what I like might...