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No more

At the age of 30plus, I am learning there is nothing called dipped or forbidden fruit. It's the first time I have faced such situation so imaging how would I feel. I didn't know how to act, talk or even behave in front of them. They looked down on me. I don't want Symphony of anyone. Am self-aware, confident person. At least I like to believe that I am. But somehow .. during this time I have looked down on my self even. I made a fool of my self and I made my self-worthless in front of you and others ... that's what I think for my self. I don't wanna be that person. Who reminds you of your past and don't wanna be the second person in any one life. I have more self-respect to my self. Just because I look like ur past or am same characters as your past, you don't get right to invite me to your life or even play games with me. Go and find your past from someone else. Don't involve me in it. This is the end of all this drama and ur chapter. I have more
Recent posts

Playing with others feeling

I don't know how people can play with other feelings. The thing is so casually he played with mine. People told me " why are you after a guy who does not have feeling for you" wondering is it really true or not. "he said, He don't wanna lose you cos for office of his business stuffs it's easier to deal with or whatever" He told her same thing he has told me. Haven't told there is anything special going on between us. But he told me am special. Fool, that I believe that. He made people look down on me, I can feel that those people looking at me like that poor girl. He played with her feeling and she is lost. It hurts thinking that. How did I let my self-be effected by this certain person?

True colour of people

Even though I don't admit and it actually did hurt me a lot. The action showed your true colour, am glad that I have seen it before much of the things happening. Sometimes these people come to our life with the virus of their own and infant us. If we aren't careful we might get fully infected with that virus and it gets harder to live. I wasn't very careful at first but now I will be. I wonder why they show a freaking fake colour of them self at first. Sometimes we also let our self-believe in those colours without realising how much it's gonna affect us. The belief is everything in life. We don't think about it much, we each believe what we believe, even though truth and reality are different. We just believe in what we think is true and real. At the end when we see the true colour it's kind of late, we are infected. Once you get infected it's can not be undone. We can forget, forgive or move on but the mark will be there always. 19 JUNE 2017

For the betterment of you and me

Once there was this man who used to care for me a lot. At least he showed his caring for me for some days. Days went by. We didn't go for a relation. We thought of going but he couldn't find a hope  for   us being together cos of his life style. He is bound to his kids and others. Anyway, cos I wasn't also looking for a relationship we took step back stayed as friends. As a friend I used to, let him know that I was there for him if he needs me and if he needs any help I would help him. I Tried to get to know how he was doing and all now and then. But some how I started feeling that he didn't care about me. He doesn't ask me how I was doing, how my life was. He didn't bother to ask whether I had a bad day or good day or anything. As per as I know he takes care of his friend.  he says,  How he was there for his friends. And I have seen very closely when it came to new friends. A mutual friend of us, he was ready to ease a bad day that friend was having.

Making mistakes - embrace it

I have seen me crying over certain relationships The question is ....  do I cry cos it's over? No.. normally I cry over the guilt. I cry over thinking how foolish I was. I cry over letting my self for suffering that fate. I cry for not thinking that through. Mostly I cry over the guilt of doing that to my self. I don't get angry with that person. I get angry with my self. I should have been more careful. I should have been more prepared. I love crying for such things. Reminding how stupid I was. A mistake won't be a mistake if you don't learn from it.  A mistake has to embraced,  cried over and noted. 16 JUNE 2017