Bitter Swyt Memory

I was doing fine with my life. I was doing enough to be happy, exploring my mind, creating and becoming fine with my study and other things in life. I manage to establish a life alone fixed myself. Then you happened, You saw things which I don’t  see in myself. You saw a better person in me. You saw my mind and found the beauty of which I only knew from whole this universe. You saw the potential in me along with great thing, you saw the external beauty and the beauty of mind Or mind beauty of me. You taught me to reach my potentials to do better, for the first time I wanted to do things to impress someone, to make you happy, cos  I know how disappointed you get when I make things easy and lazily, not reaching my potentials. I loved your comments. I was always open to advice and comments when someone shows a mistake in my work I accept and say it’s me.  Like that way, I opened all my life for you to comment. Whether it's studying, career or life. With you, I...

I think things has changed from the day we met  , before he used to complement me a lot , the way he like my hair , my eyes , my smile and my hips.  Now nothing of such, He used to look at me all the time. But know things have changed. There are small thing I noticed now. Before he liked my hair down but now he tells me to tie it up. What’s wrong with man?  Their likes also changes or the way they look changes. Even last night we talked and it seems like his mind was somewhere else. It wasn’t with me. He was in a hurry to go back to home. I don’t know why. I was sad and wanted to talk to him that whole day we didn’t talked, we talked for a very short time and for all that time he didn’t even look at me. Sometimes my thoughts run wild. I do want to spend life with him but he is full of complication. Do I want that complication in my life? Is it worth? Sometime out of fear not getting him or he not being solely for me. I think of marrying him, just because I have th...

He said, he didn't feel like talking to me, and I have to understand that. He loves me and the reason he gives me to marry is not enough for me. He thinks I am not a good person. I am not understanding person , why would he marry me right. The reason, I understood before  is he explained things to me Now, what happened is he didn't explain and tell me anything. We don't communicate and I got so worried and all the negative though ate my head and then I thought of going out from relationship, leave him behind. "He tells me he just didn't feel like talking to me" What the fuck is that I am supposed to understand that if he could have told me it before. guess if I  have known what's going or he just didn't feel like talking to me. I am not gonna get emotional and all into it, but now  I want to scold and shout and go angry on him for that matter, I am not gonna do it. So now my decision was giving him the time he wants. I am not sure if ...

I tried to make him happy. The way he said  he was in a miserable life, I tried to keep him out of that life, thought I was making him happy, but in the process of making him happy.I  lost my self my life was difficult. I was wasting my life. He have to think about me also, I believe , I am the one who is gonna take him out of that life. He keep on telling me, please help me. Take  me away from this, but I wonder, is it ever true. The things he do make me doubt that statement. Do he really want to be saved or not. He might actually want to be in that , I have no idea he does not convince me enough. Anyway this day , I did not want it to end like that , but that was a day some how I felt so not to  my self and want to him to help me out. I wanted to see him and wanted to talk to him sent many message saying " i miss you" I felt like I was acting like helpless person. its just I want to talk to him. I didn't think he will ignore me after all those messages....

I have gone so far in this relationship. I think of his wife and the coming child.  Do I have right to snap their happiness? DO she deserve that? Sure he need a mature good life. According to him his wife is not good that's why he need another woman in his life, but is it right. People get divorce when they have kids, but is it right. My friends look at me in a judgmental way.  Other do i, t people tells me don't  jump in to a situation which you don't knew how depth it is.